I'd wash the car of an A&R man from Polygram
Or mow his lawn while he was on vacation
Perform complex oral sex acts upon the staff
Of any popular radio station

I will drop pants
I will drop pants

I'd write a song about pulling a bong and all the humourous
Consequences such endeavours do bring
It's been done a million and one times before, I know
But lyrical youth-based humour is a 'now' thing

I will drop pants
I will drop pants

It should be plain that fleeting fame is all that I desire
Beneath the glow of shallow praise I'm to bask
So I'll wait outside your gate until you will allow
Me to degrade myself, you've only to ask

I will drop pants
I will drop pants